Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
