Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
