Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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