He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I need moral support for this bender
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
