I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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