You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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