Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
