Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
