So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
