Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
