I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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