Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
