piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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