reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
