I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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