I hate your face
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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