Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
