I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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