There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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