Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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