No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
