guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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