According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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