wrigley field is MILF paradise
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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