There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
