I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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