Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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