Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
