I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
