so that wasnt chicken after all
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
