my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
