let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
