I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
