instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
