Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
