He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
