do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
