That's intense
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
