C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize