If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
