I love black thongs
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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