I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
