I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
