would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
