they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
