I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We have started to decorate penises.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
