Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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