well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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