AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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