Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
