I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
