Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
