i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Let the clothes fall where they may.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
