I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
