I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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