i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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