I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
