Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
