I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
