Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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