im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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