fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize