my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
