I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I have fence marks all over my body
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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