According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
