I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
