Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
