I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
