Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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