No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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