u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
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